Tim recommends that if you have chosen to chat with Valerie you take the following precautions.
1.) Never look her in the eyes (Sorry I meant eye)
2.) Don`t believe a word the bitch says
3.) Count 4-5-6 in between each message
4.) Expect her to be reading a Mills and Boon book between messages
5.) Don`t accept any invites for meals that incude sausages.
6.) Stay away from her mother
7.) Always have a bar of Toblerone to hand
8.) Keep your stash well hidden
9.) Check the bathroom door is locked
10.) Don`t tell her if you are a nurse.
1.) Trust in him completely
2.) Give Blood when asked
3.) Vote before chattng
4.) There is no four with Tim
5.) Provide your credit card details-home address- car keys and passport if he asks to verify your identity
6.) Don`t chat about Valerie
7.) Don`t ask for Petal clues
8.) Don`t ask about Soulsister
9.) Don`t accept invites to Beachy Head
10.) Address him as Sir or Master unless you have exceptional supernatural powers
